the one

“Don’t open doors. Kick down walls.”

I believe that as we get older, our level of intentional consciousness increases or decreases, depending on how we want to live our lives. Being self-employed grants me the opportunity to have more opportunities of finding my thoughts and processing them, rather than thinking for somebody else because I’m on their payroll or work in their space.

It doesn’t come as much of a surprise that many people drown away in alcohol, drugs, or religion when they aren’t working because they simply aren’t used to thinking on their own. It’s much easier to agree with a sermon than it is to do the actual homework and formulate your own opinions, just as it’s much easier to throw back a shot of alcohol rather than spending a moment in comfortable silence.

I’ve heard many definitions of ‘love’ in the past few years. I’m convinced that love doesn’t grow its deepest roots during the sunny days, but during the bitter storms that cause patience to be tested. It takes a conscious, dedicated mind to be willing to share your own personal struggles, inadequacies, and weaknesses to another person.

A crippled animal never got better by hiding in a hole — alone.

Just as I am learning there are many parts to my life that require a helping hand in order for me to heal, I am recognizing we all have our inner demons that occasionally escape their cages.

This year, I’ve been actively seeking out the ‘pain points’ and ‘triggers’ in my life that need to be tackled and dealt with. From counseling to medical treatments, I’ve decided to take control of my life and be the man I long to be that keeps his word, fixes his problems, and can be viewed as a pinnacle of strength, patience, and security.

That’s the man I want to be.

Featured Image From Deviantart

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