Who

A friend of mine recently published a book called “Winning the Wrong Game: When the Life You’ve Built Still Isn’t Enough and How to Restore What Actually Matters” https://a.co/d/069pt329 – in the opening chapter, he discussed watching somebody pour the foundation of his new family home.

Foundation work isn’t sexy, fun or visually appealing. However, it’s the most important aspect of building a house; if you get the foundation wrong, it’s only a matter of time before the entire home built on top of it falls apart, as many people who have purchased new-build construction homes ‘built to code’ are now discovering.

Over the years, I’ve always been very clear about the things I want in life. However, I wasn’t ever as laser-focused on something much more important; who I wanted to be and what sort of character I’d excude that would define me. At the age of 38, it’s become very clear to me that who you are – and the character you exude – is the foundational element of your life.

That being said, by myself I’m a pretty lousy human being. If given to my own choices and wants, I’d beat a fast path toward utter poverty, hopeless addiction and ruthless fits of anger with lust-filled benders. Said differently, the ‘human’ side of me wants nothing more than short-term satisfaction and occupation, and my past choices have been reflective of this truth.

It’s through this admission that I’m able to find a way out, and up; God. See, I can’t look at myself and think that I’m perfect. Not by a long shot. However, when I think about God, I can undeniably say that God is perfect, and the Expression of Love I see through God is unfathomable.

When I look at Jesus, I see another example of perfection through a wholly human experience. By Jesus, I don’t mean the version that most churches and priests like to paint a picture of, either. In my eyes, Jesus was a man who got an entire wedding party drunk, married and loved a prostitute, died the most painful death on this plane[t] and then went and descended into the lowest ranks of hell (or dark energy, for the woo-woo clan) and kicked its ass for three days with unconditional Love, omnioptent power and ruthless persistance that even the darkest of spirits couldn’t stand up against.

I may have lost some readers at the mention of Jesus marrying a prostitute. Go read the scriptures. The real scriptures; not the ones that Constantine cherry-picked…I digress.

Lately, I’ve been instructing Atlas on the importance of character, as well as the importance of working hard, smart and staying focused on what’s in front of him. Beyond that, I’ve been extremely conscious that I set an example for him to follow with the way I speak, act and treat others in front of him.

Character is a lot like emergency preparation. Most people are familiar with what they’d need to do in the case of an emergency, while completely lacking a store of food, water and backup power supplies in their home storage. In the event of an emergency, they have nothing.

How does this relate to character? Well, most people know that good character, respect, manners, accountability and acting maturely are inherrantly good traits to posess as an adult. Yet, their knowledge of these things stops in their brain and never actually makes it into the way they live their lives, just as knowing it’s important to have emergency water in your home while not having so much as single gallon of water.

When I first scouted out our home, one of the reasons I picked it was that it was within walking distance to a lake. In the event of a true emergency, Atlas and I won’t be without options.

A few weeks ago, I decided it was time to change how I viewed emergency preparation. I stocked up on months worth of 25-year non-perishable food, bought emergency water filtration supplies to filter 3,000+ gallons of water, cases of propane bottles, fishing supplies, solar panels/generator, CB radios, fans, lights, batteries and water sanitation tablets – to name a few things…

It’s one thing to know you need to be ready for an emergency. It’s another thing to actually be prepared.
It’s one thing to know it matters to have good character and mannerisms. It’s another thing to embody them.

In life, chasing after material things often gives people a round of applause. Buying a house, new car or even getting a promotion can elicit the respect and admiration of others. However, chasing after things like patience, persistence, forgiveness and honesty are the types of pursuits that few people ever recognize, despite being the things that truly matter most.

To the reader, I’d ask a hard set of questions:

Are you who you want to be?
Are you trying to be?

Not happy with your answer, or need somebody to chat with about it? Let’s chat.

aaron@tripleskinny.com
415.926.0702