Having just turned 29, I’ve been putting some thought into the past decade of my life and evaluating some of the milestones I’ve passed, along with those yet to come. From a young age, I began to put up several life goals and associated those with some age bracket. My 19 year-old self saw a future where I would be married at 23, for example. My now 29 year-old self seems to meet a lot of others with similar revelations that life doesn’t always go as planned…

…and that is perfectly fine.


One of the themes I’ve recognized about life is that it doesn’t go as ‘planned’. In fact, life tends to snicker at the feeble plans we make, choosing to instead route us down paths that will grow and develop us more than our initial plans.

Whenever I sit down and evaluate why my life is in the state it is, there are many conscious reasons that spring to mind, which makes me wonder just how many subconscious efforts there are moving to keep life the way it is at the moment. It’s best to not fight the subconscious forces and instead trust they’re moving in your favor (they are). The way I see it, if your subconscious mind can get you home safely when you mentally check out while driving on the highway, it’s safe to be trusted for other areas of your life.

As a single 29 year-old man in San Francisco, there tends to be a small voice running in my head that questions when my life is going to ‘happen’ as planned. These little voices turn to doubtful taunts if they aren’t kept in check.

To counter these voices, I’ve chosen to remind myself that my life is already happening outside of any/all plans I set at earlier points in my life. Life looks different than my original projections because I have new information that dramatically changes my goals and mind set.

Not following a designated plan, has created a lot of space for me to fully accept and love myself, as I am.

Instead of viewing singleness as something to be changed, I’m extremely grateful for the space it allows me to enjoy by myself and those around me. Being single isn’t a problem that you must solve. Rather, it’s a huge asset that should be relished and appreciated.

When you view others as the solution to a broken self, you’re sure to perpetuate a lifestyle of chaos and drama, not independence and strength. Physician, heal thyself.

What I appreciate about life is that there are endless opportunities to take risks while being unsure of who/what/when/where/why will appear on the other side of your choice. It’s usually on the other side of these choices that you locate other like-minded individuals who have also freed themselves to be. Just be. Soon, you’ll discover the tribe of people that celebrate, support, and appreciate each other for who they are.


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