Free

….and there you were.
Eyes right across from mine.
the universe eclipses in this moment
Time laps. laps. laps.
being. just being. you. me. we. one. 

I’ve spent some time recently exploring the concept of being ‘awakened‘ as this year has brought me to a realization that I’ve been coming to this point.

Truth be told (anything else is chaos), awakening is simply a return to the true core of who/what we are. Everything else is just noise.

When we meditate and intentionally shut off the ‘outside noise’ of our lives, we discover a beautiful melody that begins to surface, as the sounds get shut off; silence.

The beauty of stillness. True tranquility. True simplicity. Truth. Whole without any moving parts.

Our insecurities are one of the ways in which we begin to slather on covers, fixes, and ‘remedies’ that do nothing but muddy the waters that never needed be stirred.

Meditation and stillness teaches us to unravel. unravel. unravel. The face we see in the mirror is often so far removed from who we really are that we’ve mistakenly named it our own identity. I’m not talking about surface-level appearances, either.

As the layers come off and we see ourselves for who we are…what we are…where we are…without any of the surface-level noise of the day-to-day schedules (smog) that clutter our lives, we can then find the beauty in who we are – naked and free from the endless layers we burden ourselves with.

Forgiveness has to follow mindfulness. Just as our natural instinct to apologize profusely to the person who owns the rare, Turkish rug we spilled red wine all over….the same applies to our own sense of being/self. Truly being set free from these burdens is being able to identify – and let them go – without feeling the need to step in and ‘fix’ or ‘correct’ them, as we begin to understand them for what they are.

It’s a dangerous place to be when you feel the need to apologize for your own insecurities. It’s a prison within a prison.

But, you.

 

Mindfulness and awakening is a path you are able to take. Today. Right where you are at. Just the way you are. You need no permission. No excuse. No blessing.

That’s the beauty behind awakening. It starts – and stops – with you.

You’re beautiful. You. Are. Beautiful.

As you read that statement, did you find yourself somehow qualifying the words for somebody else? Perhaps, you found yourself ‘saving’ those words for somebody that ‘really deserves’ to read/hear/see them. Stop.

Those words were for you. And they are for you, on a going-forward basis.

Every scar, lisp, imperfection, shortcoming, deficiency, insecurity, impairment, deficiency, bruise, rip, tear, stain and shatter is part of the beautiful masterpiece that is you.

You. Are. Beautiful.

As somebody who has spent years trying to correct or fix the things in my life that I perceived as being broken (down to the first time I heard “That’s dorky” – compliments of K. Chiapperino) it dawned on me just how many layers of chaos I’ve filled my life with…attempting to fix something, somebody, somewhere….that didn’t need to be corrected.

Finding the root of your insecurities is sometimes part of our own journey. For me, it’s finding the 12 year-old boy wearing a pair of black athletic shorts, with an XL-sized orange shirt that read “jesus freak” and embracing him…glasses and all.

Instead of having him hear “thats dorky” from the mouth of somebody who probably said those words because of their own insecurities, fears, or desire to social elevation, and telling him…

“Kid…you’re incredible. Just the way you are. No, your outfit might not grace the cover of GQ – now…or ever – but your heart shines through the clothes you wear. And your smile is absolutely contagious.”

 

Now, we can both be free.

You are beautiful.

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