a white bunny rabbit on green grass

White Rabbit


“I could tell you my adventures—beginning from this morning,” said Alice a little timidly; “but it’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”


I’ve been writing the above quote for as long as I can remember blogging. More than ever, I feel like I finally understand the meaning behind the words. A lot of things in my life have changed as I’ve grown from 12 year-old blogger to the 35 year-old man I am now as I pen these words. Pen will someday be a foreign word, along the wayside of typewriter, cassette tape, manners and depth.

These days, it seems harder and harder to find anybody with true opinions or thoughts. We live in a bass-ackward society where many adopt banners and labels about who they are, and seem to adopt those thought processes as a default, rather than using their brain. Conservative, liberal, religious, atheist, republican, libertarian, democrat, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah.

40% of articles shared on the internet aren’t read by the author who shared them with their social media networks. I can’t tell you the number of articles, podcasts, YouTube videos, etc. I receive on a regular basis that aren’t fully viewed, read or listened to by the person who shared them. Is it any wonder why no thought process, story or discussion ever seems to fin

New paragraph. New topic. Generation ADD is in full-force. These days, especially. We’re connected, connected. We’re disconnected. Disconnected.

I watched an interview this week with Marilyn Manson, one of my favorite artists. Yes, I watched the whole interview before sharing the link. For somebody who has been demonized his entire life for creating incredible music and shocking the world, he noted that the reality of the world is far more evil than anything he’s ever been accused of being. That hits home in a strange and scary way.

We live in a world where we put medals on the jackets of ‘war heroes’ for their body count, while creating oppressive institutions and living conditions the people who are the backbone of our society, the ones teaching children, protecting us from crime and keeping our streets safe to drive on. Some people see the pretty puppets in life, while others see the demons pulling the strings on the puppets…

“When you’re the thing people are afraid of, there’s nothing to fear…”

These days, one of the most offensive things you can do is have your own thought process that exists outside of some definable bucket that others can put you into. Everything needs a label these days. Everything needs to be ‘understood’ – when in reality these labels are meant to dissect, rather than understand.

“I’m not a slave to a god that doesn’t exist. I’m not a slave to a world that doesn’t give a shit. The death of one is a tragedy…the death of millions is just a statistic…”

In The Matrix, we watch as Neo (Notice anything?) breaks out of the construct of reality he was presented with, only to discover he was living in an artificially constructed world. The matrix. He breaks out only to discover he played an important role in the very fabric of the matrix…

Wake up, Neo…your passport expired.

I’ve changed a lot this year. I’ve changed a lot in the past few years, and I can’t see things quite the same way that I used to see them.

I used to have an optimistic view of the world. I used to expect the best in people and treat them as if they had no intentions of harming me. These days, I’ve gotten tired of pulling the knives out of my back and have opted to keep them in place as reminders that a pretty smile, good handshake or well-spoken word aren’t adequate cover for somebody without a soul.

I’ve watched as my own dreams of a family were destroyed, right in front of my eyes. I’ve seen hands that used to love me turn to blows against my face. Tongues that spoke my praises turned to spit in my face, and even the kindest of demeanors turn to hatred, lies and pain.

It takes a lot on a human being to go through these things. The first punch catches you off guard and makes the room spin…eventually you get the blow that settles things back into place and knocks some sense into you. By that time, it’s the 12th round and the energy you had when the bell first rang is nowhere to be found.

I’ve noticed a lot of things this year. People expect a lot, but rarely give in the same measure as they ask of you. I’ve seen this both in and out of my ‘office’ as the clients who are often the most demanding with time-sensitive requests are the ones that take the longest to pay, while the ones who are understanding, kind and flexible about their needs are the ones that never miss a payment. C’est la vie.

If there’s one thing I intend to do differently in 2023, it’s to invest my time, focus and life into the things that matter most. Atlas comes to mind as my first and highest priority. As a parent, I see life much differently than I ever did in the past. As a parent, I see things much differently now than I do my past. As Alice said…”I was a different person then.”



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