On the day of my move to Dallas, from Los Angeles, I remember a moment where I was driving and my windshield was filled with views of mountainous terrain. Awe-inspiring, it made me sit down to think about the significance of the move I was making. While driving, I pulled out my cell phone and spit out a few thoughts that were on my mind; primarily talking to myself to prepare for the upcoming days where things didn’t necessarily go my way.
“Aaron…this is why you fight.”
The quote goes “You can take the dog out of the fight, but you can’t take the fight out of the dog.” and I wonder whether or not the fight inside of me has matured, or simply disappeared all together. Getting older, I’ve noticed the way I approach situations is much more calculated, calmer, and thought out than the way I used to live. In the past, I’d jump, feet-first, into a hornets nest and fight like hell to make things work. These days, I calculate how many times I can stand getting stung, then jump in, feet-first. I suppose we learn things after a while.
Recently, I can’t say that my spirit has found rest. Having moved here to Dallas, I am beginning to wonder what the next (or current) steps of life are going to be. And whether or not I’m making the right moves forward to accomplish the dreams inside of my heart.
Most mornings, I sit at my kitchen table with a cup of coffee and read from the bible. This used to bring peace to my heart. However, I tend to find more and more questions that refuse to have answers. And it seems to be more confusing than clarifying for me as I search and try to find truth.
As I prepare for the next steps of life, there are a lot of exciting things happening. However, with each step forward, I feel as if I am walking away from something I once possessed; feeling the vacuum of a void I cannot explain with each step I take.
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