On Sight

As always, there’s a lot on my mind. One of the things that I have struggled with for many years is the concept of surrendering my life to G-d; the complete and utter passing of the torn of all of my struggles, successes, wills, and desires to Him for the purpose of doing what He wants rather than doing what I want. One of the reasons this has been a struggle for me is that I tend to think over-logically about situations.

When I was in college, working out was a very high priority for me. This was where I put my time, effort, and most of my hard-earned money (supplements aren’t cheap!) to attain the results I was hoping for. At this time, there were a few individuals in my life who did their best to challenge me (It was more annoying, really) to give up my gym time, or, as they put it: “Lay it on the altar, Aaron.” In my mind, it was impossible for me to do this because I did not see the reason for giving up something that I believed was healthy and right for me to do. Were I to have heard the distinct voice of G-d commanding me to give it up, I would have done so gladly.

And this is where my struggle has come, in my attempts to draw a line between human sensibility and the ability to allow G-d to literally drive the vehicle of my life. Most of this struggle stems from the talent He has blessed me with, as seen through my interest and ability to conduct business matters; it is a true passion of mine that I believe came only from Him. However, along with the talent comes the necessity to use these gifts wisely and to count them as a loss so that I may better follow His will for my life.

“My wife told me that she had heard from G-d that she was supposed to start a community food bank. I told her to let G-d know that we have a $3,000 mortgage payment each month.”

This was a statement I heard while speaking to a gentleman at the gym. I was dumbfounded when I first heard it. And yet, it does not come as a surprise to me that human nature naturally hold onto particular blessings from G-d while actively denying His ability to pour out more blessings on our lives. Tithe, anybody? Is it really that difficult to give up 10% of your income to the church you attend? This is all food for thought – hopefully leading to action.

My struggle to surrender everything to G-d has led me to realize it is not a one-time action, but it is a daily sacrifice to give everything to Him. If we do not develop this discipline, it is only a matter of time before laziness and our innate tendency to sin begins to cloud our vision.

Take a jump.

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