Home

There’s a saying that goes ‘Home is where the heart is.” and I think there’s a lot of value and truth in the statement. Home is more than the bricks and mortar that protect your head while you sleep. It’s more than the place where you were born, and even live.

There are a lot of ways to unpack the idea of ‘home’ – just as there are infinte ways to unpack the word ‘music’ or ‘love’. For example, somebody may love music while knowing nothing about how to play an instrument. A composer might dutiously know the art of creating music, while despising most modern-day ‘hits’ to come through their radio.

One aspect that I’d like to extract from the idea of ‘home’ is the very place where you live. I don’t mean the place where you sleep at night – though the two might be one in the same. I mean, the place where you live; the place where you come alive, make your most treasured memories, feel safest, laugh, cry and retreat to when you’ve had a bad day.

I’ve lived in a lot of big cities. Los Angeles, Manhatten, San Francisco, Dallas, Portland, Beijing and Columbus, OH (if that counts). In most of these cities, I noticed the trend of occupying a space rather than actually living in it. Said differently, most ‘big city’ homes serve the purpose of being little more than a crash pad for a majority of its inhabitents.

Why? Because in big cities, the overarching purpose of being there isn’t to dwell – it is to work, grind and chase the almighty buck.

For a while, the ‘grind’ can be an intoxicating rhythm. However, there’s something missing in the grind – the satisfaction of living in and out of your home. In similar fashion, coffee will certainly amp up your day – while lacking the nutritional content of being a full meal.

I spent a majority of my life living the ‘coffee lifestyle’ that failed to stop and appreciate – or live in – the physical home where I slept, even during the times where I worked from home.

Why?

Because my energy and focus was directed outward; chasing an external goal (often financial) and it caused me to completely miss out on the beauty and life that each of the places I lived had to offer.

In Manhattan, I’d grind from morning until night; returning home long after the sun went down.

In Dallas, I’d grind nonstop at my computer, hoping to strike digital gold.

In San Francisco, I’d race to the office in the morning, only to race to social circles, parties and after-hours events once the workday ended.

In Portland, my high-rise apartment served as little more than a crash pad between working at the office, business travel and late-night outings with people I’m no longer in contact with.

The common theme of all of these places is that my energy was directed wholly at making something of myself or my career, rather than directing that same energy at enjoying the ground under my feet and the walls of the place where I lived. Sadly, there’s a twinge of regret in each of these cities because I never fully realized or appreciated what they had to offer.

To some degree, I now question just how much each of these cities had to offer – in contrast to how much I could have offered myself if I had taken the time to just…be.

Recently, I started doing a tism’ deep-dive on work culture in Japan. Why? Because I was curious how life is for the famous ‘salaryman’ culture and those who work tireless hours within the grind of a machine that many know as Tokyo.

What I found was startling.

Not only are the salaries in Tokyo far lower than I expected; an entry-level salaryman takes home between $1,000 – $1,400 USD per month in exchange for 80-hour work weeks – but the sense of depression, isolation and unhappiness seems to be unanimous between the top 3% of earners versus the entry-level worker.

To many, the work culture in Japan seems to be the ultimate model of efficiency, and there’s a sense of awe at how hard-working the people there are. I certainly thought this to be the case until I watched an actual salaryman break this misconception in two.

“The Japanese arne’t hard-working and efficient – they’re slow. Decisions that should take minutes are extended by months. An idea that could be conveyed in a simple email is expanded into a 24-slide presentation, and the entire office is expected to be there instead of just the key people related to the presentation.”

He explained this ‘slow’ nature to their culture is the reason why the workers have to work such long hours.

Said differently, it would take days to mow the lawn if you hand-inspected every blade of grass before you cut it by hand.

Work-culture of this nature extends far beyond the country of Japan, and it actively accounts for many people missing out on the very life they’re blessed with when they’re born.

There’s never been a man on his deathbed who said
I wish I’d taken more meetings, cut tougher deals
Spent more time spinning work wheels
No man has ever said that or ever will
The only thing I’ve heard a man say as it all fades
Is I should’ve spent more time with the ones I love
That’s what I should’ve done
If I could buy back time, it’s what I’d do
I’d be the richest man you ever knew
TobyMac – Rich

Brick by brick, I’ve learned over the past four years the value of priortizing home, family and a quality of life that isn’t found outside the walls of my home. Nothing has been a greater catalyst for this lesson than the journey of being a Dad.

Now that I have a house, I see things a lot differently than I used to. While it’s perpetual maintance and clean-up, I’ve recognized that every drop of sweat is an investment into the quality of life I’m able to enjoy with Atlas and others who come through the front door of our home, and that’s something I’m willing to fight for to protect.

Some people live in huge mansions that never feel like a home. Others live on park benches and find more satisfaction with where they lay their head than the tech bros who tower over them in high-rises. Home isn’t just where you rest your head – it’s where you find your peace.

Know God – Know peace. No God – no Peace.