Know your Gunn

In the Bible, Jesus made a statement that I recently meditated on in a way that might seem surprising to some readers, because it invoved a recent purchase of a new gun.

A few months ago, I decided to buy a new handgun for my EDC – or “every day carry”. On one of the long weekends where I didn’t have Atlas, I decided to kill some time and visit onf of my favorite gun stores. By the time I walked out, I had a brand new handgun outfitted with a green dot sight; the same gun I had been considering buying for over a year.

When I bought the gun, I was impressed by the trigger; it felt short, snappy and punctuated; all the things you want in a trigger. Beyond the trigger, I liked that it was ambidextrous and slightly smaller than my current carry – a Glock 43x. Without hesitating, I bought the gun and had the gunsmith install a new green dot sight on the spot.

When I took the gun home, I went through the process of buying a new holster and excitedly waited for the moment where I would shoot it at the range, which came a few days later. As soon as I got to the range, I pulled it out and took my first shot.

While the shot was accurate and the trigger felt ‘better’ than my Glock, there was one thing that screamed at me as I fired off over a hundred rounds on the new gun; I didn’t know it. Every shot felt somehow foreign, strange and new, despite having a better sight and trigger than my Glock 43x.

Then, the gun jammed. I racked another round and fired off another few shots before it jammed again. This wasn’t good news if I wanted the gun to function as my everyday carry weapon. Why?

Everyday carry guns aren’t meant for glamor or luxury. Rather, you carry them because in the event you need them, you need the gun to function without error. Just as I pray I’ll never have to pull out my gun, in the event my life (or those I’m around) are in danger, I also know that I can’t afford to have a weapon malfunction if that moment ever arises.

There was a part of me that didn’t want to surrender to the fact that this new weapon was unreliable and likely due for a visit to the gunsmith for repair, because it had more bells and whistles than my trustworthy 43x. However, as more range trips racked up, I noticed that the gun continued to consistently jam.

Eventually, I made the decision to swap out the gun for my Glock, which had been secured in a gun safe in my home office. When I pulled it out, I noticed something immediately.

I knew the gun.

I don’t mean in the sense of knowing who the gun was. Rather, I knew what it was, how it felt, what the trigger felt and every quirk it has. Why? I’ve fired over 10,000 rounds through it at the range. Unlike the ‘new’ gun, I have a relationship with the Glock. When I pull the trigger, nothing is a surprise or foreign to me.

While it lacks the green dot sight (for now) I made the decision to bench the new gun and return to my beloved 43x, which has never jammed on me. In the event I ever need to use it, I have full confidence that it will perform as it was intended to.

Rather than feel disappointment the new toy didn’t work out, I felt a huge wave of joy when I swapped it out for my Glock as I tucked it into my belt. While it might be a bit bigger and not have as tight of a trigger pull, I feel far more confident carrying it than any other gun that I own, when it comes to personal protection.

I know it. It knows me.

The only other gun that I have which has also met the 10,000 round mark is my Canik Rival S; a full metal, full-size pistol that shoots like a Caddilac…emptying a full clip at 15 yards with little more than a 3-inch spread on the target. Oh, that gun is a beauty…

I digress.

When Jesus said “my sheep know My voice” he was hinting at something more meaningful than simply knowing the sound of His voice; he was implying that His followers intimately know Him, can trust Him, and know that when times are tough – He will pull through.

As you work your way through life, you develop an appreciation for the things in life that you can count on; people, practices, habits and even vices all serve their purpose when they’ve reached a point of reliability in how they show up for you.

Unlike vices, Jesus is the one thing I’ve learned to count on that doesn’t come with a hangover or empty bank account when I turn to him. Rather, I know that the more time, energy and focus I spend searching for His voice, the more I begin to know, trust and love it when I hear it clearly.

Admittedly, I have a difficult path in some regards. When I look around at others around me with ‘together’ families, stable jobs or even large assets and properties, it can be difficult for me to find peace and contentment. I’d give a kidney to have a together family. All that aside, I see the scales in my life turning to learn to trust God and His path for me.

Just as I can trust my 43x to consistently hit the bullseye at 10-15 yards, I now know that I can reliably put my hopes, dreams and future into the One who authored them.