Forever Dirt


With Easter approaching, it only seems right to write about the concept of crucifixion and resurrection. Fortunately, I won’t be writing about the story of the Christ, as it would be somewhat redundant because it is being preached from every pulpit this upcoming Sunday morning. However, the concept of this has been on my heart/mind as I’ve been wrestling with a lot of inner elements that are in need of a good crucifixion. Probably a scourging, too, come to think of it.

There’s been an ongoing dialogue between myself and my older brother, Steven, as we have both been wrestling with different traces of our childhood upbringing. Were somebody to splash me with a glass of cold water and tell me to stop looking back, I’d politely disagree with them. One can only go as high as their foundation is deep. And if there is a crack in the foundation, one must be willing to go through the dirty work of finding and repairing that crack. For me, personally, this has meant digging through many memories and experiences that were made as a child and, as an adult, identifying the way these events impacted and shaped my worldview, mind, and outlook on both life and myself. If these events had no negative effect, or if I cannot find any problem with them through my now reasoning, adult mind, then I have peace about putting them to rest. However, if I find something I cannot agree with, that memory must be defined and explained.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to speak with a good friend of mine who called at just the right time. Over the years, there have been many people who’ve called me through sniffling noses and wet eyes, as life presented them with a challenge more difficult than they could have imagined. For the first time in many years, I was on the receiving end of an encouraging phone call that lifted my spirits. Simple encouragement and pats on the back mean nothing when the person giving them doesn’t know who you are. However, when somebody knows your very DNA and is able to provide you with encouragement, it hits home.

This period of time has been an interesting one for me, as I have many pressures which are demanding I quickly make choices and start the entrance process into professional life. While I don’t want to jump the gun on this process, I do want to do something different than what it is I’ve been doing. A transition from self-employed to dutifully-employed and/or not being the only self-employed person I work with. Every fiber of my body longs to run a business. However, when this day happens, it will not be because of an accident, or because I was not prepared. Some learn to drive after barely passing their exam, others paid the necessary dues in order to have that plastic card. I’ll probably have a mix of both.

This entire blog, up to this point, has been meaningless. If you just joined us, feel free to hop in from this point

Crucifixion and resurrection, let’s talk.

We’re told that we must put to death the elements of our flesh that get in the way of our pursuit of God. Oftentimes, we think of this as sin and other such debaucheries. I’d question the motivations for this reasoning. Why put something ‘to death’ if it stands in opposition? Well, if something is tainting your view of the Creator, thus giving a wrong view, this element must be removed at all cost, so as to not give misconceptions about something that has eternal value.

If what we claim to believe about God is true, it must be the single most important element of our life, with nothing getting in the way of this truth

To this, I present the challenge that the modern-day charismatic church (I’m being specific for a reason, as to not point a finger at the overall church of which I am unfamiliar with) is indoctrinating its children with fear and a completely distorted view of who their Creator is. Rather than present the belief that a relationship and understanding of God must be pursued throughout life, avoiding what this church defines as “sin” becomes the single most important factor of a young childs life.

Some similarities exist between my teaching of students and that of these extremist childrens pastors. I’ve used the analogy of sin being a lion that can grow and kill you. However, the students that I’ve taught are able to process what this means, and focus on what sin really is, rather than only hearing that something can kill, in a bloodthirsty manner, them, as a child would hear. After seeing this analogy, I’m not sure that I’d ever use it again.

Fear-based programming that states “if you look at a woman, you will lust. If you lust, you will sin. If you sin, you will go to hell.” sounds extreme. However, it is an accurate portrayal of what I have seen in the charismatic Christian church. Women are told to dress over-modestly to prevent the teenagers from lusting with their minds they have been brainwashed into thinking they have no control over. Boys are taught it’s wrong be aroused by women, as it’s a slippery slope down to lust. Oftentimes, because they are unable to be aroused in a normal manner, these boys-turned-teenagers turn to pornography to get their rocks off. I don’t know of many individuals, not raised in the church, that ‘struggle’ with pornography. That’s a blog for another time.

The fear-based programming of the church has instilled the idea that we are nothing more than pitiful hypocrites; weak imps that are nothing without salvation, a gift only found in the walls of the church to those who walk, talk, and pray the way the minister wants you to. Perhaps that may have been over the line. I don’t care.

When we were first created on this earth, the Creator made man to simply exist, live, and walk with Him. What have we become?

This blog has gotten out of control. I’ll end it.

My prediction for this generation is that there is a combustion of those who have been raised within the walls of the charismatic christian church. 200 years ago, there weren’t church camps, preachers on TV, or “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” in the hands of every good christian boy. What we are experiencing is a monster that must be put into perspective with reality. As a self-professed frankenstein monster from this lunacy, I admit that every bit in me wants to walk, talk, and share the company with the real world.

It is finished.

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