Grow[n] Up

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

At the age of 27, there’s a part of me that feels obligated to feel ‘grown up’ as an adult. All of the usual responsibilities, such as: paying bills, generating income, being responsible, having ethical/moral standards and reading from newspapers, are an active part of my day-to-day life. However, I’ve never been able to look in the mirror and have my first thought be “You’re a grown-up now.” And I’m not sure that day will ever come…

As children, we tend to create dramatic idealizations of what we want to be when we ‘grow up’. Perhaps we long to be the hero, rescuing the damsel from distress. We want to be ‘great’ even though we don’t understand what the definition really means. We secretly cling to the idea that our fairytale life we’ve garnished from the movies is, in fact, possible. Our parents are our flawless heroes; the source of answers for any questions we may have. They’re also our protectors and caretakers.

As we get older, reality tends to set in that things aren’t as we once thought them to be…

I’ve realized my parent(s) are just as capable of making mistakes as I am. My expectation of their perfect parenting capabilities is rattled by the realization they never received a ‘professional parent’ course as they undertook the journey of raising children.

We also realize that not all that glitters is gold, with others. I’ve encountered more toxic individuals, this year, than I have in my entire life. My bafflement of how these people could live with themselves – with as terrible of people as they are – clashes with the realization that it takes great work and discipline to maintain a character that values integrity with a high moral standard.

As a man, there’s a bit of a mental shock as I look at the treatment some women allow themselves to have bestowed upon them. When opening doors and offering compliments seems to be a far cry from the poor treatment some ‘men’ show to other women, I have to wonder what standards others set for themselves and are willing to settle for.

I’m learning, more and more, that hurting people hurt people. It doesn’t justify the treatment or drama. However, there’s always a root to why others act the way they do.

Meet the bell, kid.

Featured Image From Deviantart

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