In the past few years, I’ve done a lot of reading on the topic of the ego. There are a lot of angles I’ve read on the subject; ranging from radical acceptance of the ego (as seen in the world of Ayn Rand) to religious teachings that encourage one to abandon, or crucify, this veil of consciousness.
I’ve learned a few things from observing the ego, in my life and also others, and had a few thoughts to jot down on the subject.
Concerning the ego, I found myself clinging to it as a means of protection. For some reason, it felt good to have this radical image of self-identity that wanted to take a stand for…itself.
That approach really didn’t get me too far in life.
Some blogs are more difficult to pen than others. This one seems to be sticking. So, I’ll remedy the writers block with a story.
My understanding of the ego changed a lot when I first stepped foot into a dance floor in San Francisco. I remember the night, as well as the feeling of being nervous to dance in the middle of a crowd. Dance wasn’t my thing, I stubbornly told myself.
Had you asked me to describe the emotions I felt that night, it would be quite rigid and cold. Fear.
It wasn’t until I started dancing more that I realized how much fun it was to temporarily check my ego at the door and lose myself between the beats of house music.
Then, something changed.
I saw the relationship between the dancer and the dance; the harmony between releasing yourself to something that exists outside of you.
I started to see the crowd as a single dance partner; finding myself in it, rather than feeling lost. And I realized that there’s something beautiful about a collective community of souls that express themselves in such a vibrant way.
It dawned on me that we are the dancer, as well as the dance. We’re the beauty in the world, as well as the broken canvas it is painting itself on.
You’re probably helping to solve the problems that caused the pains in your life.
It’s a lot like finding your personality. Once you break free from the worry of being seen – which is coming to terms with reality – you can start to see the much bigger picture to this life and how we all weave a part of it, as both problem and willing solution.