There’s a common phrase that many people know; often related to the difference in people who see the glass as being ‘half-full’ or half-empty’. Perspective counts for an awful lot in life, because nearly everybody goes through the same challenges that life throws their way.
All of us will die. All of us get sick. All of us go through periods of fear, doubt, isolation, anger, frustration and hurt. It’s inevitable to escape these things, any more than it’s possible to somehow cheat death of its sting. Dracula may have been able to live forever, but was forever cursed to see the ones he loved pass way in their mortality.
A wise woman recently told me a phrase I won’t forget:
“There’s poop all over the place; there must be a pony around here somewhere.”
I laughed when I heard her say the words, while immediately recognizing the intrinsic wisdom and value they contained.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized the value in reframing my mind to view certain things in a different light. For example, I’ve trained myself to love mowing the lawn; a task many people dread. While cutting the grass isn’t as enjoyable as a massage, it’s an inevitable task that awaits anybody who owns a home – with as much certainty as needing to poop after eating a large meal; it’s not a matter of it, but when the moment will strike.
Life is full of these uncondtitional elements. If you eat chocolate and don’t work out, you’ll get fat. If you work out and never stop eating healthy, you’ll enjoy a beach body. If you live long enough, you’ll get wrinkles. Accepting things as they are can be a beautiful way to navigate life without undue stress (or durress) when the inevitable things arise.
Recently, I spoke with somebody who was admittedly angry with God. Why? Because he’s ‘done everything right’ in life, but still feels like he isn’t getting what he wants. He was smart enough to realize this is “Coke machine” mentality with the Almighty; if I put in a quarter, I expect a can to pop out of the machine.
God doesn’t work that way. Sometimes doing the ‘right thing’ is a virtue unto itself. Rainbows aren’t visible without the rain, nor ar they composed of magic fairy dust, but remnants from the storm that recently passed.
I’ve had a few ‘storms’ pass by recently, and each has left their share of remnants behind that I now see the rainbow through, and I know that I’m a better man now on the other side of the storm.
The difficult thing about life is that it doesn’t give you an unlimited number of do-overs. Eventually, age, sickness, disease and frailty present themselves to each of us and we find ourselves sliding down the mountain of the life we have left, rather than climbing to the summit.
There’s no better example of this than the journey of being a parent, especailly to a single child. There are no do-overs, takebacks or second chances to get certain things right. You can’t take back all of the moments you didn’t give your child, or squandered to distracting elements like social media, hollow relationships or even selfish pursuits.
Kids, just like others, will always remember the way you made them feel, the way you spoke to them, and how you showed up for them. They won’t care that your house was clean, nails manicured or even hair combed properly. Yet, I often see people ditch their kids in order to pursue these things; none of which will matter when the coffin finally closes and they take their last look at this plane(t) before joining the Eternal One.
I’d be a pretty bitter person if I demanded everything go my way, because that’s not how life goes. It will rain on days I’d rather stay dry. In the grand scheme of things, it’s far easier (and better) to accept and know the things that are out of my control, while taking control of the one thing that’s mind to own; me, and my responses to the inevitable.
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