Fairytale, Boy

[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”]I[/dropcap]n the name of the best within you, do not sacrifice this world to those who are its worst. In the name of the values that keep you alive, do not let your vision of man be distorted by the ugly, the cowardly, the mindless in those who have never achieved his title. Do not lose your knowledge that man’s proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it’s yours.”

Sitting here, I’ve realized that a tragic play of life has occurred, once again, in my life. The sky has been robbed of yet another Superman I once imagined to inhabit the atmosphere. There’s something in all of us that longs for the inner hero to exist, not just in our hearts, but in those of others. We wish that our lives could become incredible, while also hoping that if – if it is, in fact, possible – we live up to our own expectations, that we will find other individuals who have also combatted the odds and have risen to new heights as extraordinary individuals.

There have been a lot of people who have screwed me over in the arena of business. The wound was purely business related, but the damage went directly to my heart. Moving to New York City and being taken under the wing of a once-successful businessman, who would tell me I was like a son to him, only to then be completely disregarded and left cash-strapped in a very cruel city was absolutely heartbreaking. But…I learned. Starting a business with somebody I considered to be as close as a brother, only to be shocked when false accusations came flying and blatant acts of dishonesty were committed, also took a toll. But…I learned. Looking at her eyes and feeling something deep inside my soul, the screaming reminder that love does, in fact, exist, followed by a quick change in heart and actions was not pleasant. But…I learned.

I fear all of these learning lessons have taught me what to avoid, while also placing a bitter taste in my mouth for all of humanity. If there are none to be trusted, befriended, or loved, then what are we to do? Life was not supposed to be lived with one arm extended in handshake, with the other clutching a knife behind our backs.

Betrayal is a dish best served cold. Unfortunately, it often appears in the finest of packages and with a few palatable sides. Yes, that was a good word. And so we plunge into the meal we were not ever supposed to taste. We dig into the forbidden fruit that was never intended for our human appetite. Our knowledge of Good and Evil has grown at the price of our hearts. Love simply isn’t pure anymore, nor do I believe its fullest form to exist. Period.

We’re told to not give up on an idea that cannot exist in this world. Perfect love cannot exist within an imperfect world.

The cuffs tighten. The prison gate slams shut. And I have, once again….learned.

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