Choices

Every day, life presents you with an abundance of little choices that play a large role in shaping the outcome of the day – as well as your life. For example, if you wake up early, you can beat a lot of rush hour traffic (if you’re headed to an office) – or beat the waiting list at a popular restaurant on the weekend.

This past weekend, I made a point to show Atlas the impact that our choices can have. We woke up early enough to drive to a popular breakfast restaurant in our neighborhood, that we didn’t have a wait. Within 30 minutes of our arrival, the crowds began to show up and spill out into the parking lot.

“What are they doing, Dad?” he asked me; pointing to the growing number of people in the parking lot. “Waiting for a table” I replied, while noting that we didn’t have to wait because we were proactive in getting out of the house before the morning rush came.

If you look around, you’ll find there are no shortage of things to rob you of your time, attention, peace or money. I have yet to find a ‘side’ in politics that gets it right all of the time; making true postive impact in the ‘United’ state of America. More often than not, I see both sides of the poitical coin cloning the messages and tactics the other employs – no different than the way Coca Cola and Pepsi have been head-to-head for decades.

Which drink is better for your health? Neither. Pure water is better for your health.

Replace soda/pop with any sort of modern-day debate, or popular topic, global scenario or crisis and I think that you’ll find there’s a ‘minority report’ position you can take that will leave you far better than engaging in a lose-lose usage of your time.

A few weeks ago, I decided to entirely cut out watching/reading the news from my ‘intake’ and I haven’t felt like I’m any more worse for the wear. “No, I haven’t read/watched about X topic” has been a calm way to quell a lot of heated debates/conversations far ahead of them taking place.

Overnight oats have been another pivot I’ve recently made – something that Atlas practically begs for now whenever he wakes up. On one hand, I could get outraged at the difficulty of finding sugar-free breakfast options at the grocery store. On the other, I can easily set out a few jars of oats each night and give him free reign to fancy up his oats with berries, nuts, flax/chia seeds and cinnamon – all of which he loves.

The result is noticable; Atlas is well-behaved and doesn’t go through a miniature sugar-crisis, which he’d have on the regular when we went to the donut shop in the morning. He’s focused when reading, practicing his handwriting or even playing in his room with me. Everybody wins.

Now that he’s getting older, I’m slowly introducing Atlas to choice, as well as cause-and-effect. When he wants to play with his hamster, Teddy, I ask him to first clean the floor so that Teddy has a clean environment to run around. It only takes a few minutes for us (I help) to clean and organize his room. The reward? Teddy gets an open space to play, and Atlas doesn’t have to worry about stepping on his toys.

At this age, it’s also important to build him up and go easy on the rules. Before going to our crowd-beating breakfast, I told him that he needed to help me make up the bed before we left – showing him how I made up ‘my side’ of the bed, before I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Despite the example, he said “Dad, I don’t know how.”

“Atlas, look at my side and make yours look like it. Do your best.”

Before I finished brushing my teeth, Atlas proudly exclaimed:

“Dad, I did my best!”

Unlike my side, his pillows were stacked on top of each other, and the blanket wasn’t tucked into the bed. Rather than criticize the differences, I took it as an opportunity to commend him on the great job he did; “Hey, your side looks great! I’m going to do my pillows like you did! I’m so proud of you. You did a GOOD job!”

These little interactions matter a lot to a child. I’ve spoken to countless grown adults that have shared with me how they never heard their parents (their Dad, especially) tell them they were proud of them; causing a lifelong void in their spirit, as well as confidence as an adult.

The older I get, the more I realize how little it is my job to solve every crisis in the world – and how important it is, as a Dad, to ecourage, build up and spend time with Atlas. Is it really important for me to be well-versed on every world event, at the cost of my time, energy and focus on Atlas? I don’t think so.