Teddy

One of the primary objectives for souls on this plane[t] is to learn lessons. From the value of telling the truth, to the lesson where you learn what’s most important; lessons are pertinent to our existenece and [re]birthing on this place we know as ‘Earth’.

From a 10,000ft. view, it’s very easy to simplify the sorts of lessons that we learn as human beings. For example, most people know it’s important to tell the truth, persevere or stand up for what’s right. However, it’s very rare that we get a firsthand look into one of these lessons as it occurs, as we often see them in the rearview mirror of our lives.

Last night, I had the opportunity to learn an important lesson – as well as be the curator of a lesson that Atlas will never forget.

In the middle of one of our play days, I got a call from a friend of mine. He asked what we were doing that night, and suggested we have a play date with our kids. Immediately, I agreed to the plans and looked forward to having a night where our boys could play – and the two of us could get some much-needed ‘man time’ working out, cooking out and throwing back a few beers. Thus, ‘man night’ was scheduled.

Atlas was so excited for his friend to arrive that he insisted on waiting in our front yard; perched on top of the mailbox to wait his arrival. We took turns looking left or right – with a countdown of 1-2-3 before we mutually turned our necks to look the other way.

While we were waiting, something in my spirit told me to give Atlas a reminder about the rules of our house; specifically pertaining to how we care for our pets.

“Atlas, when your friend gets here, you are to keep Teddy (our pet hamster) in the cage. I don’t want you two playing with her without me.”

Our friends showed up shortly after, and ‘man night’ was underway. As me and my friend worked out in the yard; using a new set of Bowflex dumbbells, TRX bands and exercise bands to get our pump in, Atlas and his friend played in the yard. Two happy kids played while two happy Dad’s got in a solid workout.

Between their time in the yard, Atlas and his friend would run inside to grab toys or costumes, then run back out to the yard where they engaged in sword fights, adventures in Atlas’ dune buggy or playing with the swings that hung from the tall trees in the back yard.

Midway through one of their treks inside, I looked inside of Atlas’ bedroom window and found him and his friend playing with Teddy – his pet hamster. Immediately, I ran inside and reminded him that they weren’t to play with the hamster without my direct supervison. I placed the hamster back inside of her cage, allowing the rest of the night to proceed as planned; barbeque, time around the firepit and final playtime before our friends went home for the night.

As I put Atlas to bed that night, I went to do my usual pre-bedtime ‘house check’ where I lock the doors, turn off the lights and check on all of our pets. That’s when I got the surprise of my life.

Teddy was dead.

Nestled inside of her hamster wheel, Teddy lay lifeless. As soon as I saw her body, I knew that she was dead and that something must have happened in the brief moments where Atlas and his friend took her outside of her cage – which was likely an accidental squeeze.

I paused, thinkning about what to do or say in that moment. I knew that I could easily return to bed and tuck Atlas in for the night, putting off the annoucement of her passing to another day. However, I also knew that it was important to share with Atlas what had happened.

I returned to the room and broke the news to Atlas.

“Atlas, I need to tell you something – and it’s not going to be happy news.”

“”What, Dad?”

“What was the last thing I asked fo you before your friend came over?”

“To keep Teddy in her cage.”

“Were you obedient?”

“No.”

“Atlas, Teddy is dead. Did you listen to Dad’s instructions?”

“No…but my friend really wanted to take her out.”

“Atlas, sometimes our friends want to make choices that aren’t right – and our choices have consequences.”

That’s when he started to cry.

“Dad, I miss her.”

I held him as he cried into my shoulder, reassuring him that everything would be ok – while also reminding him how important it is to follow instructions.

“Daddy, can we get another hamster?” he asked.

“Yes, Atlas. I promise you that we’ll get another hamster.”

“I want one just like Teddy.” he said.

That night, Atlas didn’t go more than 30-45 minutes without waking him, crying and asking for me to hug him. I barely got a wink of sleep. In spite, of it, I knew that he had learned a very, very difficult lesson; one that he would’t easily forget for the rest of his life.

The whole situation impacted me in a deep way. It’s incredibly hard to see your own child suffer in any way, no matter how ‘logical’ the situation is in your perspective as an adult.

In the morning, Atlas and I went out to the yard and buried Teddy; digging a small hole in our flower beds and leaving a rock as a memorial marker. After she was buried, we prayed and asked God to take care of her.

“Dad, is Teddy with Peaches now?” he asked me.

“Yes, Atlas. Teddy is with Peaches.”

“And your Dad? And my Frog?”

It’s a hard thing to teach a child about the cycle of life and death. In many ways, teaching this lesson is just as much of a reminder to the teacher as it is a new lesson to the student. While explaning the cycle of life and death to Atlas, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own life, those that I love and those that I’m preparing to say goodbye to for the last time.

The following day, I recounted the story to my younger brother. After hearing it, he told me something that really left a mark on me.

“Aaron, do you know how important it was for him to learn this lesson now? Do you know how important it is to teach a child that they have to follow your rules, rather than listen to their friends? Someday, you’re going to see this lesson pay off…”

In most of life’s lessons, we see them quite clearly only years after they’ve occured. In this instance, I’m well-aware fo the pivotal importance of the lesson both Atlas and I learned through the death of his hamster.

As I write this, I’m overcome with emotion. While she was only $22, Teddy was more than a pet; she was a member of our family, a harbinger of joy and one of the best ‘tools’ Atlas has had in learning the importance of responsibility, obedience and gentleness.

Teddy – thank you for all of the love you showed to Atlas. You were the best hamster a boy and his Dad ever could have asked for. You were sweet, kind, affectionate and gentle with Atlas – only biting him once. Wherever you are, I hope you know that you are dearly missed…by both of us.