Death Of Romance

“America’s abundance was created not by public sacrifices to the common good, but by the productive genius of free men who pursued their own personal interests and the making of their own private fortunes. They did not starve the people to pay for America’s industrialization. They gave the people better jobs, higher wages, and cheaper goods with every new machine they invented, with every scientific discovery or technological advance- and thus the whole country was moving forward and profiting, not suffering, every step of the way.”

I guess it goes without question that I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Well, there’s been a lot on my mind. And I make no apologies for using one of the greatest gifts G-d has given to His creation — the mind. Our mind, when wielded properly, can be a very dangerous weapon. However, it also possesses great potential to accomplish great feats.

What I’ve been learning is that as we move through life, our experiences begin to add up and begin creating a wealth of knowledge which we can draw upon. When I look back at the past few years, I think of the variety of experiences that I’ve gone through, I am both thankful and also sad to look back at these events. While there are many things to be thankful for, it also saddens me to think of the opportunities that have been presented to me that have yielded nothing but a “learning experience” for me to reflect upon. These learning experiences do little but provide scraps of wisdom that can be applied to current and future projects.

This was somewhat sprung on me while updating my website,, listing out the various projects that I’ve worked on. As I inserted descriptions about the projects, I realized there have been many more failures than there have been successes. And I didn’t even list all of the projects I’ve worked on. For 22 years of age, I’ve been a large failure. I don’t quite see this all as failure but it does take a very heavy toll on me to look back on these projects and question “what if?” had ever happened, how different my life would be.

Ok, here’s what’s really been on my mind — in light of all the past experiences and failures that I’ve experienced, what takes the heaviest toll on me is the people I’ve come in contact with. There are good people I’ve had the opportunity to meet, while also having a large number of people who I would not feel right introducing Hitler, himself, to in conversation. I’ve gotten hurt very badly by some of these people. And it is through my personal experiences with these individuals that has led me to want to distance myself from ever being like them in my business interactions with others; the very thought of screwing and individual in business makes me want to overcompensate for the potential that I might ever come close to doing such an act.

There were a couple individuals who have come up in recent conversation that I’ve had less-than-positive experiences with. Apparently, it seems, they were less-than-thrilled with me. It’s very easy for me to justify all of my actions, but how much of this justification is actually right?

Today’s been a hurricane of thought and I’m afraid there have been no conclusions. There never are.

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