Choice. That’s a scary word for some people. I’ve heard it said before that ‘anxiety is simply the overwhelm of choices presenting themselves to the person having an anxious moment.’ Without realizing it, this blog (as well as the one prior) are some of the first blogs I’ve written in recent times without any reference to time, or a marked point in my life.
There are a lot of choices one can make on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes, I find myself aware of the defining split that one choice will have over the other. For example, I was recently given the choice to pick up Atlas one night earlier than originally planned.
“Dad, can I stay with you tonight?” he asked.
At the time, I had just settled into my Aeron after downing a high dose of caffiene – eager to start a late night of work/cleaning, which I anticpated completing before picking him up the next morning. Yet, I didn’t think twice when it came to the choice.
Throwing his new scooter (as well as mine) into the back of my Volvo, I raced to pick him up; knowing what was ahead was far better than any fragment of work I’d complete that night. I knew the house wasn’t in the order I wanted it to be before his arrival – let alone, the small pile of client work that sat on my desktop.
More important than than work is the relationship with him, and knowing the impact hearing ‘Not now, Daddy has to work’ can have on his brain, developent and sense of worth as he gets older. I don’t ever want him to get what’s left, rather than what’s his – which is his Daddy.
That night – as well as today – were the most beautiful moments I’ve ever had with him. The time was a cornicopia of moments that will forever be etched into both of our brains. He got what he needed…and so did I.
At the end of the night, I sat down to read my bible to him, reading Psalm 18 (my favorite Psalm) as well as Proverbs 16. Throughout the reading, he’d stop to ask questions; “Why silver?” “What’s wisdom?” and each of these questions opened the door to fill his mind with new understanding about God.
Two years ago, a man (the ‘Titan’) sat down with me and told me something I’ll always rememeber:
“Aaron, as a Father, your #1 job is to teach Atlas how to have a relationship with God.”
It’s amazing how one breath of words can forever make an impact in the life of the person listening. Those words hit home for me, and I’ve been convicted to rise to that challenge ever since he spoke those words to me.
At the time, I didn’t quite understand the truth in what he said. Rather, I simply knew the words were true. As the years have gone by, not a day has gone by where I haven’t thought about what he said; It’s challenged, inspired and provoked me in the sort of way that a knife gets sharper with every pass on the whetstone.
Choice. Every parent has a choice to make. They can stick their kids in front of a TV, or take them to a pet store. One choice waters the mind, soul and brain of the child, while the other tosses a stick of dynamite.
Last night, when I put Atlas to bed – he didn’t want to sleep. Rather, he cried and said:
“Daddy, will you pray for me? I watched Ninja turtles. Pray for the darkness to go away.”
Men used to trade their plows for swords in order to defend their family. Godly men pick up their sword and go to war in the spirit for their children, and that’s exactly what I did as I prayed over him, casting out the darkness in the name of Jesus.
He slept like a baby that night.
Choose life.
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