Sinphony

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I recently spoke to a friend of mine who told me of a good acquaintance who, upon leaving for college, began writing in a notebook. On the front cover of the notebook, he wrote the name of his younger brother. And, with every new experience, challenge, and question that college afforded him, he chronicled the tale in this notebook. Upon his brothers high school graduate, four years after he had started this journal, he handed off the notebook to him.

Sometimes there are things said that ought to be better left as metaphors; thoughts that we must think of as a whole picture, rather than a series of individual events or happenings.

My grandfather once wrote that Americans lack the ability to maintain deep thought about an idea or topic. Rather, they simply “take a stab” at an idea and hope for the best.

Will my children read the blog of their father? I certainly hope so. I love you very, very much. Clean your room and take good care of your mother. Oh, and never forget that your Father loves you more than I ever could.

I’ve often been told to relax and just go with things. So, maybe I’ll give that a shot with this blog posting. There’s little significance to what I’m about to write and I don’t anticipate much of an audience. However, it’s not meant for you.

So many choices about the future. Everything is uncertain. My idea that we are in complete control of our lives is being put to the test; doing the most with what is in front of me while still trusting entirely on our Heavenly Father to grant the heartbeats necessary to live day to day.

Hurt and frustrated that the relationship between my mother and I feels distant. I find myself becoming very distant as I realize recent disagreements have taken deeper tolls than I ever could have anticipated. I wish it were possible to see eye-to-eye, though I know that will never be possible.

I have a very difficult time wrestling with uncertainty in life. There’s not a single element that has remained stationary in recent times. Perhaps this means forward motion. Perhaps this means things are slipping out of control. Shrug.

Work has been taking a serious toll on me, as I’m becoming aware web design is not a passion of mine, but a means to an end. It continues to be a wonderful blessing, allowing me to do the things I’m passionate about. However, the next step of life is beginning to have birthing pains. And I am ready to continue developing into the man I hope to become.

I’ve been blessed abundantly with good, Godly, strong friends who have been a foundation and encouragement for me in the past few weeks. It is such a blessing to be in good company with men of character, respect, and good judgement.

It was a difficult Easter to spend with Steve and Mark away from the family. It’s exciting to see how we are all maturing and growing up. However, it’s a bittersweet reminder that family cannot always get together at the drop of a hat when holidays are spent distant.

A good habit I’m working on creating is reading immediately before going to bed. I’ve been reading “A Mind For God” which is an objective view at the cultural challenges to the christian world view, and why it is quintessential that followers of Christ are well-rounded, intelligent, and knowledgable about what it is we believe.

It’s wonderful to see Julia and Joshua grow up into strong children. They are both full of such much personality and joy. Julia’s intelligence and wit is a breath of fresh air. And Joshua’s creativity and quirks never cease to put a smile on my face.

It’s may seem like it’s been a downer few weeks. I’d like to state that I have never been so thankful for the challenges, joys, and thrills that life has provided. Life is beginning to assemble a loose plan that is coming together. And I must say that it is a very good looking future.

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