better

concrete paths of glittering diamonds
a sharp leather throne thrown
the king raises his scepter
tumbling down his thrown away

city lights. red. blue. and white.
dismal eyes down to the ground
no hope. crown. second chance.
another broken scepter on a throne…
…thrown far away

It’s been said ‘the mind is its’ own place. And in it, can make heaven out of hell…hell out of heaven.’ As my journey progresses, I find the statement to show itself in the strangest of places.

As a child, we cried in the weakest moments of pain; a scabbed knee, bee sting, hurtful word. We reacted and responded the way a child ought to. As adults, our minds often develop, while our tears stop their flow. These tears are diamonds, if only we’d listen to what they have to say.

Since moving to San Francisco, I’ve been able to experience a tremendous amount of life in a period spanning less than 60 days. The proverbial coming-of-age story comes to mind. The children in these stories often faced – and defeated – terrifying monsters and dragons, or finally shattered their beloved porcelain vase. In reality, monsters and awkward sexual encounters seem a lot more manageable than the evolutionary battle occurring in our mind on a daily basis.

Every day is one step forward or one step backward. There is no standstill. Motion doesn’t always translate to forward motion, as we are sometimes spinning in circles. On the same token, rest doesn’t always equate to a period of slump-ness. Quite the opposite, when used with moderation and wisdom.

“Lots of people are smart. Wisdom is knowing which voice in your head to listen to and which one to tell to shut the hell up.”

 

Being brutally honest, the city of San Francisco has awakened many of my inner insecurities, while putting several others to rest. Insecurity is little more than a question that needs to be answered. Only you can answer it. Rather than being a call to retreat and call back, our worst insecurities are a call to action; giving us the opportunity to stand to the test and look our devil[s] right in the eye. It’s a scary thing to walk down the aisle and kneel at the altar. It’s even scarier to turn your back on that blood-stained altar and declare your life is worth more than a handful of ‘filthy rags’ and hellfire.

As a 27-year old man, living in the single most forward-thinking city in the world; where dreams become a [virtual] reality, I truly feel grateful to have the entire oyster of the world at my fingertips. For some, this looks like a piano in Carnegie Hall. For others, it’s a bluetooth keyboard in the tech industry.

Those insecurities…which I’ve decided to refer to as my advisory board. And not the kind of advisory board that will eat your catered lunches and demand high compensation packages. Oh, no! My insecurities are the advisory board that gives the brutally honest truth that sometimes hurts – for a while – and then resigns itself once it has been dutifully replaced by confidence, strength, and an identity that cannot be rattled by the fruitless voices of the grasshoppers in our lives, preaching the virtues of work-life balance and adventure – while being wholly afraid to live a life they can be proud of.

Hello, SF.

Featured Image from Deviantart

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