“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
The above quote, which anybody who knows me will be shocked to see I used, is from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. As a child, this movie terrified me. Moving on.
Safety. Security. Peace. Tranquility. Calm. Flatline. The illusion of security and well-being.
It’s surprising how much this false sense of peace is accepted in our society. Even social confrontation is something we shy away from, as ‘rocking the boat’ isn’t something many are comfortable doing.
“We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.”
Where this really begins to bother me is that as a man, I notice a society that seems far more intent on placating and calming me than in creating an environment where my heart can be unleashed to the fullest. Heart, being loving, romantic, strong, fearless, bold, adventurous, ambitious, independent, capable, and downright badass.
“Turn the other cheek” is a biblical concept far more accepted than standing up for yourself. In order to even turn your cheek, you must have a cheek to turn.
The application of this long-lost heart can be seen in the everyday life and not just scenes of violence. At the end of the day, being safe and sheltered is little more than self-preservation; selfishness. Whereas sticking your neck on the line and taking a risk, writing a proposal, lifting a weight, feeding a family, lending a hand, and becoming the best version of yourself is something that requires you to step outside of your personal comfort zone and ‘be more’ than you thought capable.
Last year, I went to Metroflex Gym and saw a father working out in front of his children. Repping 225lb on the bench press, leading up to a 315lb press, his daughters stood behind him instead of a spotter. I can’t think of anything that would make me want to lift more and be strong than to have my children witness something of this nature. I remember standing outside the entrance of our family room and watching my Dad lift weights.
Taking a child out for ice cream, kissing a cheek, and saying “I love you” is far more powerful when you know you are capable of unleashing your true heart in other elements of your life.
“I’m really glad you brought your kids here. They need to see their dad as Superman.” I told him. We joked and had a bit of small talk about the type of guys these girls would someday bring home to their dad.
Living out your confidence and knowing the heights you are capable of reaching is something that not only develops and strengthens your self-confidence, but also those that you love and who love you.
I’m not there yet. And I have a long way to go. But I want nothing more than to be the man that says “I got it.” and set out to accomplish exactly what it is that my hands set out to do. More importantly, I want those I love to know and be confident in my ability to do the same. That’s where peace and security comes from – not in playing it safe and creating pretty white picket fences around insecurities and fears.
Featured Image From Deviantart