December seems to be a very difficult time for me. Seeing as how it’s not even December, yet, I’d say this upcoming period of time is going to be nothing short of a real treat. I say this with a slight dose of sarcasm. Life’s unbearable if you can’t take everything into perspective. In the past, my doses of sarcasm and life perspective were often taken from an unhealthy perspective. During these recent times, I’ve looked further inside the Bible to see just what I am to do during times that provide testing.
In Matthew, Christ commands the people to not worry about tomorrow. He stated our Heavenly Father will provide all, as well as be keenly aware of our exact needs. Should the Son of God be confident in telling us not to worry or stress over our tomorrow, I feel confident in believing Him. Would it be nice to have an easier life and unending bank account? To be honest, I’m not sure if it would be. That being said, I’d like to write about some of the struggles that I have been facing in the past few months, years, minutes. it’s not a topic I frequently write about. However, it’s nice to know that all of us have shared struggles in this life. And I might even cover a few topics you, the reader, have been curious about.
There are a few things that come to mind when I think of the struggles I encounter. One of the recent ones that knock on my door has been the nagging fear that life will pass me by. As I’ve been able to observe many of my closest friends move on to bigger and better things, I wonder if and when the time will come where I can feel that I, too, will be embarking on a simliar journey.
When I moved to New York City, it was with the highest of hopes that I would finally anticipate success and make forward motion in my life. It certainly looked like the golden opportunity many will dream of finding. As you are probably familiar with the situation, I’ll spare you from hearing it again. What you may not be familiar with is that I left that city completely heartbroken. All of my hopes, dreams, and ambitions were engaged during this period; provoked because they were soon to be realized and put to the test. After a short phone call and realizing there was nothing left for me in the city, I spent several hours in a state of complete heartbreak, worse than any relationship I’d ever had.
Since that moment, I’ve been very cautious to engage in any new project, as I do not want to undergo the pleasure of yet another failure. While I am quire aware success cannot happen without risk, it’s been very difficult for me to step into the ring once again. When I returned from New York, I immediately called a business partner/mentor of mine and explained to him what had happened. Now, this individual has undergone much more loss, professional heartbreak, and awful life experiences than I have ever experienced; he’d seen the worst of the worst and was still standing on his feet, ready to continue the upward journey. He said this to me, and I will never forget these words:
“Aaron, when I am climbing a mountain, the people I want next to me are the ones who know what it is like to hang on for dear life. I don’t want the people around me who will stop at the base of the mountain, or those who will go up a little bit and then stop. I want the people who are willing to climb to the top through the most difficult circumstances.”
To climb a mountain, you must consider the cost of your journey. You must know your destination was not made for the weak-of-mind and weak-hearted individuals. There’s not a lot of room at the top of a mountain, except for the few who have risked it all to reach the top. You also must know that the path to the summit is not promised; many will lose their lives as they attempt this journey. Simply wanting to reach the top is not enough to take you there. Simply having a big heart will not shorten your distance. It is to those who are persistent, ambitious, and willing to put in the time and cost necessary to complete their journey. Are you willing to sacrifice what you need in order to reach your mountain peak?
As I begin my climb, I am hoping to align myself with others who are focussed on reaching the top of their mountain. There will be moments where we cannot see our next steps, or where the summit is hidden from view. It’s during these times that one must look within and Above to find the confidence needed to take the next steps. There times are the ones that test the very mettle of strong me. Even the strongest of wills is susceptible to breaking during these moments. Hold on.
This seems like an appropriate place to stop. This also seems like an appropriate place to begin.
LORD — where do I begin during these times? Your Word states You are very well aware of all that is going on in my mind. And yet, my heart longs to connect with Yours. I do not doubt or question you during these times. Instead, You are the Rock and foundation I have been seeking. It’s through the roughest of waves and most violent of storms that Your presence gives strength to the weak, encouragement for the discouraged, and hope for those who have been deeply battered by the toils of life.
It is You and You alone who are aware of the broken heart that lies within me. You are the one who catches my tears before they fall. You comfort before the pain arrives. And you have given vision where mine has only been lost and polluted. And yet, you also call us to rise and fight. You are not a God of coddling or crippling in Your love. Instead, you command us to rise in the full strength of your might to conquer new lands and give You the glory.
LORD, continue to repair and restore my mind, heart, and spirit. They have been crushed beyond recognition. However, I know that You are the one who rebuilds and restores. If my heart was previously not set on You – rebuild it to look like Yours. If my mind was not focussed on thoughts pleasing to you, realign it to match Yours. If my spirit was built on a foundation other than Your Truth, smash it beyond recognition and continue to develop and mold with Your hands.